You would think that by now I'd be used to getting a positive pregnancy test, seeing minimal line progression on my subsequent (and ample) pregnancy tests and bleeding beginning withing 3-7 days of the first positive test. I should be used to it, right? It's been four times now. Four. I am 1 in 100… Continue reading TTC Over 40 | Cycle 13 – Fourth Chemical Pregnancy
quick update + VENT Today I'm either 7 or 8 days past ovulation (DPO), depending on which app I check out or which temp I entered for cycle day 17 (I took my temp twice that morning). Either way, the madness that has blissfully evaded me for most of this cycle has returned and I'm… Continue reading TTC Over 40 | Cycle 9 – Day 24
Cycle Day 25 of TTC Cycle 7 - 10 DPO Every time I sit down to write about how I'm feeling, I panic. I immediately feel flooded with emotions and the thoughts come fast, furiously piling on top of each other, fighting for dominance. I get overwhelmed with the idea of trying to "catch" a… Continue reading Focused on the wrong things.
The bleeding has slowed down to a trickle. The cramps are gone. My "fertility kit", a box of ovulation and pregnancy test strips, has arrived. The void in my womb has been replaced with the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:19). The desperate thirst for peace after this, our second pregnancy loss, is gradually, steadily being… Continue reading TTC Over 40 | Day 4: Renewed purpose
My anxiety level is at a record high today. I cannot recall a time in recent or distant memory that I have felt as anxious, powerless, confused and disoriented as I do right at this very moment. I am breathing deeply. I'm reading scripture. I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to do to relax… Continue reading TTC Over 40 | Day 3: Be anxious for nothing…