Cycle Day 7. Happy and blessed Monday to you! It’s one week after we lost our second pregnancy and I’m feeling okay. I’m definitely better than I was last Monday at this time. Better than I was yesterday, too. I am focused on fulfilling my purpose in my career and within my family. I am slightly stressed but highly favored and praying every moment of the day for peace in my heart, mind and spirit. I pray earnestly for remembrance of my position in God’s kingdom; I pray for my anxiety to dissipate and for my soul to cling to the truth that everything will work out the way it is supposed to. It always does.
I am a child of God. Yes, I am. (John 1:12)
I am doing just a bit more cycle tracking this time than I did in cycle 4. Just a bit. Not nearly as much as I did in cycle 1-3, though. I don’t know that I will ever do that again – it was positively maddening and there were so many moments during those cycles when I felt compelled towards irrational, time-consuming, energy (and financially) draining actions. I can’t see myself going down that rabbit hole again.
(The beautiful thing, though, is that an incredible idea and purpose-driven project arose from the consequences of those 3 cycles. An idea put on my heart by God to help other women who fall into the obsessive behaviors that are unfortunately quite common during TTC. I am so eager for it to launch. You ladies will love it!)
Tracking my cycle is not as much “fun” during the early parts of the follicular phase, when my precious egg is gearing up for release. I am pretty much symptom-less and ovulation won’t happen for another 6-8 days or so. We are in cycle 5 and for this cycle, because of the chemical pregnancy, I started ovulation predictor kit (OPK) testing on CD 4. In my last cycle I didn’t start until CD 10 and in the cycles before that I started anywhere from CD 6 – 9. The reason I decided to start so early this time is because of the potential unpredictability of my cycle after a miscarriage. I could ovulate earlier or later. I really don’t know so it is best to be safe. In TTC cycle 1 I ovulated on CD 13 but in cycle 2, after our first chemical pregnancy, I didn’t ovulate until CD 17.
Interestingly enough, I track ovulation for my own purposes and not necessarily for the purposes of knowing when to have sex with the hubster. Thankfully, we have a great sex life, neither of us travel and we see each other every day so we don’t need to time or schedule our intimacy. However, tracking is awesome because it lets me know that 1) I am ovulating and 2) when to start the days past ovulation (DPO) countdown to taking a pregnancy test (yes, the “dreaded” two week wait).
OPK testing is all I’m tracking in this cycle. No temps, no symptom-spotting, no notes, no nothing. Last cycle I did pretty much the same but I did keep note of my symptoms in my note pad (and transferred them to the apps later in the cycle). I’m using 3 tracking apps (I will review them in an upcoming post!) – down from the 5 I was using in the first 3 cycles but up from the 1 I was using in cycle 4. I’m looking forward to my ovulation and then my luteal phase because it will mean I am closer to our next positive pregnancy test – I’m so excited! I’m excited for our next pregnancy because I know this baby will be a keeper. God put it on my heart and I trust Him.
Now, it may not be the next cycle (this one we’re in) that we get pregnant but I am certainly hopeful that it is. It WILL be the next pregnancy that sticks. This I know for sure.
Let’s keep on keeping on… !