My morning started early, as usual, and bittersweet as I saw my mom and daughter, Nia, off; they’re going back to NYC and I won’t see either of them for another 6 weeks or so. I miss my lil Nia already! Granted, I most assuredly look forward to the summer months for this very reason! Being able to send the kids up north to stay with my sister, brother-in-law and nephews is always, all ways, a welcome relief from (mostly) single parenting. This year, though, only Nia will be going. My 16 year old just got a summer job (yay!) and my oldest 2 sons, (18 & 24) already moved back up to NYC after finishing high school to pursue their chosen career fields. So, technically, the temporary annual freedom that I patiently wait for will be elusive this summer because, although my son is totally self-sufficient, he’s still here. LOL So, no romps around the house butt-naked or reveling in the beauty of a dish-free sink or anticipating the joy of total silence when I come home from work. Oh, well!
After my mom & baby girl left, I hastily retreated to my bathroom to retrieve the stored sample of my first morning urine (FMU), which I had collected in a red, plastic shot cup up at about 5:30 this morning. I woke up knowing I was going to take 2 pregnancy tests because, of course, I couldn’t NOT do it since my cycle is due in only 5 days and First Response Early Results (FRER) says I can test a whole 6 days before my missed period, which would be today!
Nevermind that I promised myself I wouldn’t test until I had missed my period. Or that I’m only 8 days post/past ovulation (DPO) and the likelihood of getting a positive result is highly improbable. Better to wait until tomorrow or the following day for more accurate results but, really, who am I kidding?! Having my mom in town helped to make the time go by quickly and I purposely haven’t been as observant of my symptoms this month as I was in previous months but I still had the irresistible urge to test…
And, so I did. With an Equate One Step (better known in the TTC community as a “Wal-Mart cheapie”) and with a FRER. Both test results were negative. I’m tempted to write, “…negative, as expected” but I was honestly, truly wanting to see at least a faint line on the FRER test. Admittedly, though, I didn’t see anything at all in our last pregnancy (which was a chemical pregnancy) until 11 DPO. But, still…
I am dealing with a lot of other things in my life right now and I’m kind of disappointed about the negative because deep down I do expect to be pregnant sooner than later, but realistically, it’s still early and I KNOW with all my heart that EVERYTHING happens in God’s timing. Every. Thing. Frustration wants to kick in when I see a negative test result but patience is so paramount and my faith rests in the promises of God, who gives to each of us according to the riches of His glory in Christ (Philippians 4:19). I know that if God’s will is for us to have a child, it will happen and NOT according to my wants but according to my needs. He Will give us what we need, when we need it. All the time!
That said, I will most likely test again tomorrow. Stay tuned.